Source:
https://fantia.jp/fanclubs/14555

Please kindly to support him on the Fantia (I'm really excited for his rpg actually hehe)

https://twitter.com/shinjugai?s=09 (Sensei Twitter)

Uploader notes:

Hello~ It's been a while.
The thing is, I want to learn Japanese, so might as well as try to translating some Ero doujin. I'm always mesmerized by Takeda Hiromitsu-sensei works, and I found this rakugaki? Or I don't know, hasn't been translated yet so I guess I'm doing it ahaha~

Since I'm really beginner (I don't even passed N5 yet) there might be some inconsistency and weird words in the translation. It tookme about, two or three days to completely translating and typesetting (Even though I actually didn't do anything)

Any regards comes to Takeda Hiromitsu-sensei who beautifully created this doujin, and forgive me if this translation is really bad translation. I just wanted to read and share this~

Now then, may everyone found their moment of wonder~

P.S= I changed the last two image on the first two page instead because I felt it's better there

Can't give you a feedback about the translation since I'm not a translator myself but the editing looks fine, this must be really hell to redraw. But for the next time PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do not use Comic Sans again as your font. Ever.

That said, I don't think it's a bad work for a beginner.

Base +12, nataky16 +18, oh.boi.this.is.gold +6, Acerola +17, Braltewrakcus +10, Cruelty -6, PervyYoungman +7, ABDC +6, FudgeSickle +7, IncognitoMaud +6, Sky boy +6, atomicpuppy +50, sonicethanbad +7, and 2 more...

Do you have any suggestions for the font for manga or CG? I've been told to use Wild Words, something-temple font? But when I installed it My Photoshop won't picked the font up :(

And no, I'm not redrawing it. There's clean version of it on his Fantia. I think the raw also on this site as well. Basically all I did was translating.

Base +4, plexorz +8

Thanks for you efforts, but please don't release anything else before you massively increase both your English and your Japanese literacy levels, as well as acquire basic typesetting skills. This is honestly barely legible and I'm tempted to translate this shit myself to do Hiromitsu justice.

I understand that everyone has to start somewhere, but these exceptionally low-effort releases are just polluting the site and discouraging others to work on these projects. And yeah, I'm mad that gyaru doujins have been getting this awful treatment lately.

Base +12, AininChase +6, KouGee +6, TOTORKE -6, sirskyrider +8, garsi6 +6, wildstag +8, nataky16 -18, ZeroRazor -6, PhantomRenegade -18, Eden of Shirock +6, seba19 +6, L0wk3y +8, and 9 more...

Ahh okay.

I'm sorry.

Base +4, Eiricht +6, TOTORKE +6, stopwatch +6, Mamian +6

Thing is: this is Hiromitsu. As much as I want to read this, I want to read something that doesn't take me off the comic, but instead drag me in.
That said, PLEASE continue translating and typesetting, and PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
Once you have enough practice and the quality of your work is acceptable, you can share them with us. Bad translations will do bad to the community (taking off material from the "untranslated" pile) but it will do good to you, as long as you keep learning. Maybe trying to translate and typeset works that already have good translations would be good, since you can compare your work with a quality one and see where you must improve.
The e-hentai forums probably have good tutorials on typesetting and editting manga.
Don't give up, just keep working until you have the skills to do a good translation.

Base +6, coltainer +6, Beyond Imagination +6, Komyaku1306 +6, wildstag +8, nataky16 -18, dankestdungeon +19, Rahien +7, Acerola +17, gaburiasu99 +6, JukanX +25, cumvirginhentai +6, Cruelty +6, and 5 more...

You should team up with someone who can actually translate JP - ENG

Otherwise you're just wasting your own efforts by uploading something that is barely readable

Base +16, hexilant -10

A lot of you are pretty mean.
Keep the good work Maja!

Base +7, ken1009 -8, Darksword696 -19, Beelzepoop -6, dankestdungeon -19, memper03 -6, nataky16 +18, Mimicrumb -7, stopwatch -6, mikeyboyo +6, boom22 -7, bargoras +6, ncc1701z -18, and 4 more...

Alright, I'll just be straight up rude to you Maja : The you right now is shit. I ain't gonna rate this five star cuz it simply doesn't deserve it (especially since it's a work of Takeda Hiromitsu, an artist I really like)

But does that mean you should stop here? Nuh-uh. You keep going at it. You already took your first step, and that shit is the hardest thing whenever we wanted to start something new - not to mention this being a one-man work from translating to typesetting. Keep translating whatever you like and you think you could, and keep striving on bettering yourself a step a time. By next year, hopefully your translation will be THE shit, to the point just five stars doesn't do it justice.

Base +11, nataky16 -18, stopwatch +6, Orengestar +7, hexilant -10, Yukipo~ +6, das3122 +11, Mamian +6, ILikeItThicc -6, ezeheadass2 +6

If you want to improve on typesetting here are links to tutorials for you:

https://www.insidescanlation.com/etc/the-idiots-guide-to-editing-manga/guide/main
http://www.ruinevil.com/rawr/editguide/index.html
https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/

And regarding fonts. PLEASE delete Manga Temple immediatly. This font is ugly, unpleasently pointy and a dirty footnote on comicfonts just like comic sans. Free fonts you can try are Anime Ace (popular but not the pretiest and easiset to work with) Wurmics Bravo, Komika and Wurper Comics. You can download them for free at sites like dafont.com.

Base +18, Acerola +17, OMJay +6

I found this on another site and I'm glad it's also on ex, but forgive me for being blunt because I don't want to offend but - this English is brutal, even to a non-native speaker like me. At first I even though it was a shoddy attempt by the author himself (AFAIK a few do "official" translations of their works), but I guess I was wrong.

If you want to share, by all means, but with this level of quality expect most if not all comments to be negative. The hentai community can be quite picky, especially when it comes to top shelf stars like Hiromitsu, so...

Base +6, noiad +6

Translating requires much more literacy in the target language (English in this case). Try translating into your mother tongue if you really want to translate things.
This is so full of mistake it is unusable as a translation because it is nonsensical. You could try having a competent English speaker fix it, but as things are right now it'd take as much effort as translating from another language.

Translation takes comparable skill to writing (that's why good translators are famous and have fans), and right now you don't have the English proficiency it takes to become an author.
Full disclosure: I'm neither a native English speaker, nor a native Japanese speaker so I can't really blame you; I made the same mistake in the past (although it wasn't nearly as bad). Bottom line is, you actually need better English than Japanese if your goal is to translate JP -> EN.
If you want your Japanese to be better, try WRITING in Japanese. Worked for me, I now write critically acclaimed scenarios in jap. Best of luck.

Base +9, das3122 +11, Cruelty +6, Mamian +6

Found my next cleanup project :D Hopefully someone gets to this before I do, or you all have to suffer my writing...

Base +7

Jesus this is barely above a 5 second mtl that wasn't even proof read, if you're gonna translate something, learn to actually speak the damn language you're translating it into, you could be an N1 Japanese messiah and it doesn't do any good if you barely grasp the language your deciphering it into, on the first 2 pages alone there are a dozen typos, the typesetting looks like you've NEVER even looked at anyone elses work, seriously it's not rocket surgery to make something look presentable, even if you're using nothing but microsoft paint you could do a better job, you couldn't even be bothered to redraw/translate the word bubbles, one of the biggest fucking things is you didn't bother separating the male dialogue from the girls dialogue like it is in the raw, simple quotations marks in place of the「 」would have done that...

Shitty phoned in translations like this risk them never getting picked up by people who can actually do the damn job right...

Last edited on 05 August 2021, 19:47.

Base +19, Bullettime +6

Great job, great translation - thanks for sharing it with the community

waiting for new translations of other works by this great artist, which have not yet been translated

Base +8, Mags_ -28, lttcyber -24, atomicpuppy -30, DankMemes42069 -17, ILikeItThicc +6, halomastah117 -6

Some instances of poor grammar (these are all found on the first page):

"college student {in} B University" - shouldn't it be "at"?
"{Have} a {B}oyfriend" - "Has", "b"
"back then in {the} high school" - I don't think English uses an article here
"committee,{}has", "then,{}a" - missing space " " after comma
"who even {teacher already given up for}" - ??? maybe "who even the teachers had already given up on"?
"They both {study} hard" - "studied"
"But {for} Kana, who {were}" - "" (Kana is the subject, no preposition), "was"
"where Ryohei {} attending now" - missing verb
"she {have}" - "has"
"non{ }academic" - better with a "-" (hyphen)
"she {were}" - "was"
"Kana, who {love}" - "loves"
"because of his personality and serious guy" - ???
"it {keep repeated}" - "kept repeating"
"until six months" - ??? maybe "for six months"? or "until six months ago"?
"{an} clumsy" - "a"
"idiot guy" - "stupid guy" or maybe just "idiot"
"she was still {highschooler}" - missing "a", also "high schooler", but better replaced by "a high school student" or something
"Don't{}make" - missing " " (space); "Don't" shouldn't be capitalized after a comma

Base +18, roflcopter66 +8, Tluvac. +5