Raw : /g/1999841/054b11e8cf/
Pixiv : https://www.pixiv.net/artworks/89065991

First time translating and typesetting. It's mostly MTL.
This was a short one and a bit easier to do so I picked it.
Tell me if there's any errors or if there's anything that can be changed or improved.
And I already see an error.

That's a decent work. You made it look like a proper sentences good enough that i wouldn't even knew it's MTL if you didn't said so yourself. Keep up the good work, my dude.

Base +7, Braltewrakcus +10, pooofer +14, SCSS -19, nʞɐɾouɐɯ∀ +18, feyan +9, Afriiya_Mendes +1

BEGONE T H O T

Base +5, Boomer30569 -9, Dooderz +8, EllincedeT +10, zONEv1 -14, feyan -9, Afriiya_Mendes -1

Hide-and-Suck.

Base +6, ZisO0 +6, incogna777 +7, wapfel +6, _iwanttofuckingdie +6, rick-kun +6, hewhocomesby +11, Xaki +6, Star Study +7, HASJ2 +9, _Zap_ +12, Ashvinoth +7, feyan +9, and 1 more...

Why did you translate it as $ ?? Why not write the actual amount of yen instead?

Base +7, HASJ2 -9, Letto Lettosa -6, somerandomdude33 -9, rick-kun -6, nurd +6, Afriiya_Mendes -1

I like how he called her out on her bs

Base +6, FlyGod +6, AlbaInsignia +7, Ashvinoth +7, wapfel +6, rick-kun +6, feyan +9, Afriiya_Mendes +1

>mostly MTL
tagging rtl (uploader comment)

Base +39