There were some mistakes like "But he likes that girl too" on 80th page instead of "But he is like that girl too". Probably you wanted to use Present Simple Tense, and accidentally turned the word "like" from preposition to a verb. I haven't remembered well pages with other grammar/style mistakes, but they don't change sense that much as on page 80.
As a person who can't read Japanese, I am really grateful for your translation. And are you willing to translate another Gengoroh Tagame’s work ‘Bitch of the jungle’ into English? But now it only have JP version .
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! So many of us are in your debt, thanks for translating this work! Please let us know how we can support your translations! I'd love to see more Tagame translated!