After receiving helpful feedback, I have applied:
better quality measures: (animeace font, komika font and not using the digital copy)

Use wild words.

Use "and", not "&" unless it's like a title of a company or something or product.

Stylize you text when using jagged bubbles, use the bubbles to guide you.

Base +16, dankestdungeon +10, yolo07 +4, flashpanty +8, tamstrup +6, bennystar124 +6, E1drad +7, DarkFire493 +6, Miriah +7, aleden +16, Kuro Yuuki +6, 58569 +8, jfragrettel +8, and 12 more...

Earring not Earning. page 3.

Base +2, kachua88 +6, aleden +16, abrickhouse +5, jfragrettel +8, KazeZeroL -5, timbus +11, Tamaki-Kousaka +8, Dannnisaur +6

Some of the dialog is unclear or the word choice is odd. I have similar issues, so believe me when I say multiple drafts are good ideas. The human guy's dialog on pages 4 and 5 feel especially weird.

-"Somehow I don't know but it's already too late" makes little sense, I think you meant "I don't know how you did it, but you're finished now"
-You could rewrite "Her body was delicate, and now her looks from before are now completely different" to "Her slender body is long gone, if you haven't noticed!", makes him sound crueler, which fits the scene better and is less redundant.
-"Rebuild her into my favorite type of flesh" could instead be "mold her body to my tastes"
-"I'm carefully enjoying this body everyday" implies he's being soft with her, which doesn't match the content, use a word that instead means doing something completely, maybe "thorough" instead of "carefully" (also watch if the dialog is in past, present, or future tense, the current line should be closer to past tense than present because he's bragging about what he's done, but that's a minor nitpick)
-"And here is your biggest loss" is confusing with the rest of the sentence, because it's implying the elf guy lost something, when the next bubble has the human guy saying having the slaves freed hit him financially
-I have no idea what's trying to be said in that dialog about 10% costs/profit loss (?) and spirits being settled. I think the idea is he's first mentioning how much his business has been impacted and that he can't get any profit if he just kills the elf guy, but the word choices mangle the meaning.
-"distorted acts" is a weird way to describe sex and adultery, and the aristocrat line is confusing, partly because the human guy doesn't seem like the type who uses big words, especially when he's threatening someone
-The line following about birthing shows reads like he's going to somehow humiliate her poop and then he talks about the birthing show. Rewrite so it's clear he's talking about humiliating her WITH birthing shows where she will mess herself in front of people.

I could go on with other pages but I think this is a good summary of what went wrong here. You're being too literal and focused on the original positioning of the Japanese text, while also ignoring that a lot of those words have alternate meanings that may actually being used here instead of the one you picked. Try doing a second draft and look at the context of the scenes until you have something that reads more naturally. This isn't a first person account but a seequence of events with characters talking in the moment, vocabulary, personality and flow are super important.

The "balls of fun" like is amazing and I wish I thought of it first.

Base +10, madestapod666 +7, kachua88 +6, ulgaming +7, Pr1de +7, DarkFire493 +6, Miriah +7, aleden +16, Kuro Yuuki +6, Anime Janai +13, 58569 +8, jfragrettel +8, Myzer +9, and 17 more...

You're still using resampled, low resolution raw. The original images are x3000 in height.

Base +45, kachua88 +6, Miriah +7, aleden +16, abrickhouse +5, jfragrettel +8, KazeZeroL -5, Megaton +39, -Shun- +23, Hilarity +6, timbus +11, Minaroto +12, Rolled +6, and 1 more...

Better than the last one. But it's still not the full resolution. And read typesetting turials before you continue. (Check the cove of scanlators on the forum or goole them).

Base +10, kachua88 +6, jfragrettel +8, KazeZeroL -5, timbus +11

is this a songle story or is there a prepart avaliable?

Base +3, jfragrettel +8, KazeZeroL -5

Now I want to know what the old lady, who bought the elf male, looks like.

Base +4, jfragrettel +8, KazeZeroL -5, subbesnubben +6

I love that Elf abuse isn't even a stereotype in manga, it's fact. XD

Base +10, jfragrettel +8, Myzer +9, KazeZeroL -5, rjimenez666 +6, EruniaGaia -1

Pretty sure Vanilla elf is one of the rarest things to find now.

Base +6, aleden +16, abrickhouse +5, jfragrettel +8, Myzer +9, Amauri14 +6, KazeZeroL -5, nyanvic +6, SecretiveGamer +13, Siquall +6, EruniaGaia +1, Rod_Perv +6, Vass +6

Need more fertile elves <3

Base +7, jfragrettel +8, KazeZeroL -5, rjimenez666 +6, EruniaGaia -1, Limited +8

Because it's elves I don't even flinch at the NTR, it seems par for course now.

Base +9, jfragrettel +8, Myzer +9, Amauri14 +6, KazeZeroL -5, EruniaGaia -1, akunoko -28, Limited +8

Mind break, rape, netorare, cheating are super popular with elves.

Base +6, EruniaGaia -1, Limited +8

Hey guys, I finished translating another Kazuhiro Doujinshi and I was
wondering if you could help me out with what I have so far.

If you have time, I'd be very grateful :)

https://forums.ehentaihip.com/index.php?showtopic=217792

Base +1, kachua88 +6

Sigh. Because we can never have a story where the girl is saved, can we?

Base +6, WallBang +6, Vivi1993 +16, SecretiveGamer +13, EruniaGaia +1, Dos-Tree +6, CheeseCrumbles +4, Kuro Tamashi -8, anonymousMember +6, akunoko +28, Limited -8

Well made manga.

Base +2, EruniaGaia -1, crystalbabee -6, akunoko -28