This is one of my old favorites, so I thought I would do it justice. I translated CGRascal's version to English, so the accuracy is questionable at best, but I think it's close enough.

LOL, CGRascal's work really does feel like an unknown language sometimes.

Base +6, runner555 +18, AkaiKurai +7, dolphinslow +17, Zeowing -7, Zelinko +8, musoukaXIV +10, jfragrettel +8, Megaton +25, Winged Ikaros +6, darklord1235 +8, as102 +9, IncognitoMaud +6, and 20 more...

"Rewrite"... That only word make my hopes die in a moment...

Not even the amazing good art and curvaceous flan and rem can lift it up now.

Sorry.

Base +23, Zelinko +8, ranoya +6, jfragrettel +8, IncognitoMaud +6, chibidw +6, Juggernaut Santa -24, HitmanPAC -6, kiwino -4, thatstupidpanda -6, Novanity +6, tobeunforgiven2 -16

I mean, if the original dialogue is meh, I'll take a rewrite.
And this translation is good.

The art was amazing, and I can see Flan acting this way what with her crazy powers and such.

Base +3, ranoya +6, jfragrettel +8, Vilis +21, AkaiKurai +7, Der Fuhrer +6, bigmak -6, Juggernaut Santa -24, HitmanPAC +6, Novanity +6, cm4000 +6

Base +67, Dammon +39, Vilis +21, Guardsman40k +4, DarkMel +7, Novanity +6, Bigpp69 +1

Damnit Author, that template is forbidden!

Base +6, Juggernaut Santa +24, cm4000 +6, Mittenmeyer +6

At least this time Cgrascal actually collaborated with someone to reduce how bad it is.

Base +6, skeksis -6, Juggernaut Santa -24, DaiZerker -8, Kona-chan -7, HitmanPAC +6, Hyoros -9, kIsho Acrerion Orion -1, Luuuk -5, Novanity -6, tobeunforgiven2 +16

It's not a rewrite. It's a reedit. It's technically not any different from what editors do with the scripts that they get from translators, except for, you know, not being officially affiliated with the translator.
A rewrite is when someone makes up their own completely new text without regard to what the original text might have been.

Base +23, Juggernaut Santa +24, DaiZerker +8, Vanilla Cream +5, qazmlpok +19, 151132 +7, Firound +5, Jago Smith +7, truefire +6, TK162 +8, kyukyuko +6, HitmanPAC +6, Luuuk +5, and 9 more...

@Xerodusk:
Exactly. From the short time I translated for doujin-moe, I realize that often the exact script the translator gives can't be used, for reasons such as the text given can't fit in the bubble reasonably, for example. Editors basically clean things up to make stuff work. A perfect translation often won't work. Editors need to be able to re-word, use synonyms, etc to keep the intent of the translation accurate while making it work with the images provided, as well as making it readable. Cgrascal's translations often aren't easily readable, hence why a reedit is justifiable without a rewrite tag.

I don't get why people get their panties in a bunch over a tag when people are just trying to give them something presentable. It's not like a "guro" tag is missing from baby in a blender...

Base +5, ijwtp +7, Jago Smith +7, Firound +5, truefire +6, TK162 +8, kyukyuko +6, Luuuk +5, tobeunforgiven2 +13, Novanity +6, janusi +12, Juggernaut Santa +29, Bigpp69 +1

Ah, this isn't a rewrite. This is just re-edited. Better than CG version if you ask me. The blacks seem sharper, and there isn't so much useless white space inside the text boxes, and the dialogue is more natural, though not as good as it could be. But still an improvement.
But I dont think you should have CGRascal+Villis, since you didn't translate, you just edited. Put your edit credit on page 2.

Base +6, truefire +6, kyukyuko +6, HitmanPAC +6, Hyoros +9, Luuuk +5, butt1234123412341234 +5, Shimeru +6, Novanity +6, janusi +12, Juggernaut Santa -29, Bigpp69 +1, tobeunforgiven2 +16