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[Anonymouse] Mercenary Red Bunny part 1 [English]

Doujinshi
Posted:2019-05-17 23:13
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:2.77 MB
Length:22 pages
Favorited:229 times
Rating:
58
Average: 4.36

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Posted on 17 May 2019, 23:13 UTC by:   Greenwasp    PM
Uploader Comment
Art/Comic by Anonymouse https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=5826125
Character by Wherewolf https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=4255153

This is my first translation (and upload) so critique as harsh as possible.
Posted on 18 May 2019, 02:01 UTC by:   OtleChip    PM
Score +19
Very nice!

Does this artist commission?
Posted on 18 May 2019, 04:30 UTC by:   gokudomatic    PM
Score +31
Very nice. Thank you. And thanks too for publishing it in the right order, unlike a certain guy.

About critique:
Nice image cleaning and text integration job. Maybe not enough margin, as your text is sometimes touching the border.

Maybe you should write your script in a text processor first, let it proof grammar and vocabulary, and then insert the corrected text in the image.
Here's a list of errors I found:
page 6: "No matter how stuborn the woman, ..." is missing the verb "is". Also typo in "stuborn".
page 8: typo "girlfreind".
page 8: typo "to/too" mistake (or typo).
page 10: typo "falut".
page 11: typo "finnaly".
page 18: typo "destoryed".
page 22: "your/you're" mistake.

Keep up the good work!
Last edited on 19 May 2019, 16:56 UTC.
Posted on 04 June 2019, 05:09 UTC by:   mralan44    PM
Score +12
Are you going to translate the second part? Thanks a lot

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