Commissioned by: Cotton
Raws: /g/1495113/98e45677d9/
If you wish to commission something take a look at the credits page for contact info!

Remember that collab I mentioned yesterday? welp, it was this, huge thanks to Cotton for cleaning, decensoring and commissioning this.

Make sure to help the artist by buying the book if you have the opportunity to do so!
→https://ec.toranoana.jp/tora_r/ec/item/040030765787/
→https://www.melonbooks.co.jp/detail/detail.php?product_id=545212

v2, fixed a typo, thanks to MarvN for pointing it out.

Good quality. Thanks for sharing.

Base +6, jindoko90 +6, tadpolegaming +5, soul saber +6, Edalc +7, TheOldDeus +7, 52chngxh +5

page 28 responsability -> responsibility

nice doujin! i was interested in a swap story like this since forever ago, great to see that one is finally out! Thanks

Base +8, Edalc +7, TheOldDeus +7

Is the second page neta the yajau senpai?

And, of course, Billy herringdon

Last edited on 13 November 2019, 10:54 UTC.

Base +6, No Greed No Giveup +9, norieelys +6

Since this was a paid commission and all, I took the time to look over the first half or so and QC the translation for you. Hopefully this doesn't come off as too negative - I get the gist from your translation that you're trying; it's not a lazy translation or anything. I hope some of these nitpicks can help the quality of your future translations.

Page 2:

この悪意が溢れ出すほどの撮り方は何なの？
Original: Why are you even filming this!? You freak!
Proposed: What's with the scary way you're filming this!?
Explanation: It's possible that the initial translation rephrased this a little on purpose, but I think it's just a little too far from the original Japanese. It changes her questioning his 撮り方 (way of filming) to questioning why he's filming at all. 悪意 can translate to words like "evil" or "malicious," but those would come off as a little strong and kind of awkward in English so I went with "scary," though I'm sure there are plenty of valid ways to handle it.

Page 3:

麻衣さんなら全力で喜ぶ
Original: I enjoy it when Mai-san uses all her strength.
Proposed: I'd 100% enjoy it if it were Mai-san.
Explanation: The existing translation puts 全力 (all her strength/100%) in the wrong place in the sentence. It's meant to modify 喜ぶ (enjoy), not modify Mai using some amount of her strength.

Page 6:

前の経験があるから(...)
Original: Ever since last time, we know each other's schedules and keep in contact regularly, so // it should be fine for a while.
Proposed: Because of last time, we know each other's schedules, and we're keeping in constant contact, // so it should be fine for a while.
Explanation: I think it's important to emphasize that the actions she talks about are a result of this happening before with a "because" to match the から (because).

離れた場所でいきなり入れ替わるのはやはり危険すぎ
Original: It's still dangerous to swap out of nowhere.
Proposed: Swapping when we're far apart is still really dangerous.
Explanation: Existing translation drops 離れた場所 (distant places) entirely and inserts "out of nowhere" instead.

運よく撮影はもう終わった、夕方ぐらい戻れると思うわ
Original: Fortunately the shooting was over, so she should be heading back.
Proposed: Fortunately, filming's done, so I think she'll be back by evening or so.
Explanation: Existing translation drops 夕方 (evening) from the sentence entirely.

あっちにいる私。。。
Original: I was over there...
Proposed: The "me" over there...
Explanation: This is totally different from the intended meaning and sticks out as meaningless now. Here's a breakdown: あっち (over there) に (location particle) いる ("to exist" verb for living things) 私 (me)

Page 6:

どうして人格入れ替わり現象がまた再発したか？
Original: I wonder why you swapped personalities again?
Proposed: I wonder why you're swapping personalities again?
Explanation: Trying not to nitpick grammar/word usage, but it's clear that the body swap thing is an ongoing problem, not just a one-off issue, and the current wording is unclear on that.

Page 9:

好きな人の側にいれば // こんな表情もできるんだ
Original: It's the same expression you have // when you're by your beloved's side.
Proposed: You can have this expression // when you're next to the one you love.
Explanation: The "same" thing doesn't exist in the original Japanese and I don't really think it helps the sentence. Saying that, this looks like it's a reference to a scene in the series, so maybe further context would dictate a different way of handling it. If the current line is already a match with an existing translation or something, then disregard this nitpick.

Page 12:

好きな人と。。。 // エッチなことをするのはどんな感じなんだろう。。。♥
Original: Being with your beloved... // How it feels to do naughty things with them...
Proposed: What it feels like // to do naughty things with the person you love...
Explanation: The original Japanese is one clause, not two, and is a follow-up to the previous page's line ("I want to know too...").

Page 14:

僕のためにわざわざ用意してくれて。。。 // やりますね！
Original: Thanks for coming all the way here for me. // Let's do it.
Proposed: You went to the trouble of preparing that just for me... // I'm impressed!
Explanation: 用意 (prepare) is pretty clear-cut here. If he was thanking her for coming, he'd say something like "来てくれた。。。 ありがとう！" rather than 用意してくれて。。。 // やりますね！" Also, やります (polite form of vague "to do"), when supplied with a ね (too difficult to explain what this is in one sentence) usually makes the phrase into a compliment, and isn't suggesting that they do anything.

Page 15:

一発出せば何とかなる！！
Original: If I get the upper hand it'll work somehow.
Proposed: Things will probably work out if I make him cum once!
Explanation: Not sure why this was misinterpreted. Also, I'm all for changing punctuation to a degree when appropriate (like when I changing the ? to a !? in my proposal for page 2's line, for example), but I don't see any good reason to change it from using an exclamation mark here. Here's a breakdown of the Japanese: 一発 (one time) 出せば (potential form of "to release/to make let out") 何とかなる ("it'll work out somehow" or similar)

Page 16:

エロ本で習ったテクニックで！！
Original: My technique taught through porn!
Proposed: Using the techniques I learned from dirty books!
Explanation: This is supposed to be a follow-up to the line on the previous page. エロ本 specifically refers to dirty books, not just generic porn, which could very well be videos or something else.

一体どこで。。。 // ああ。。。 // こんなワイルドな咥え方。。。
Original: It's all over the place // Aa // Such a wild approach!
Proposed: Where the heck did you... // Aah... // Learn this wild type of blowjob...
Explanation: I think the existing translation didn't piece together that this was all one segment or something, just cut off in the middle with a moan. Whenever someone says 一体どこで (where the heck) in surprise in porn, it's that standard "where did you learn this" sort of line. Punctuation isn't handled very well here, either.

Base +9, gamerag3 +12, aoitenshi1 +7, bigscuba +4, goni09 +7, hafini +11, 政宗 +6, TheOldDeus +7, fula_flight +6, Cordial +6, jindoko90 +6, Shurikensei +9, Miku_Miku_Miku +6, and 21 more...

@remembereverything Not at all, thanks for the pointers, I can see where some problems come from and I admit it's an issue I tend to have, thinking most dialogue bubbles are usually a standalone sentence so it being split in different panels and even pages screws me over a bit, another thing is usually the space constraints, if I really got to write the "appropriate" translation in some lines it'd just get in the way for font sizes, styles, etc. Not that it's the cause 100% of the time but it's happened before.

In any case, as I said at the start, thanks for the pointers, will make sure to put them to use for any future project.

Base +7, jindoko90 +6, bigscuba +4, Miku_Miku_Miku +6, AmazingButterfly +6, Garbouw Deark +15, offtimer +10, hyuhyu +6, Fatrobo +6, Broomstick Vilian -7, timbus +12, see-eff +6

This is all I wanted since I saw her episodes in the anime

Base +10, bigscuba +4

>tfw got cucked out of watching the movie at anime expo and got swamped with class for the theater screenings
I feel your pain

Base +7, gongleur +6, allelujahhaptism +6, see-eff +6

#WholesomeComments

Base +8

>Pg 14 with Sakuta's Pose
"Hey Nodoka, I think you got the wrong body, the leather club's 2 blocks down"

Base +7, retrospectrum +6, norieelys +6, see-eff +6, Simon9000 +6

看到第二页就笑崩了

Base +6, GRAHAMG +5

哲学立suki

Base +6, GRAHAMG +5