Raw: /g/1114992/c6ee819e5c/ English title: "My Younger Sisters Stole My Virginity" English title from DLsite: "My Cherry Was Popped By My Little Sisters OMG"
-----------------------
If you have any suggestions on the wordings or grammar, I'd appreciate the comments.
-----------------------
Comment replies:
@Zeredux: Me and articulation don't go hand in hand ;P Also, I didn't see that you had replied before I uploaded the whole set. I'll make that edit as soon as I get more corrections in.
I do like this artwork, although the girl has a bit of a boyish face. Definitely a girly body though, and that's what counts. Thanks for translating this, and I saw you had some proofreading tips on IRC.
I would start with a bit of reorganizing. Some galleries do this by splitting them up into Text first, then No Text after the story is done, and noting where each section begins ("Text is P.1; No Text is P. 78." as an example). In this case, a "Nude" and "Clothed" in a similar manner, so that people can get the fill they want. It would also help the flow of the story too, as people won't have to skip every other page because it's just the previous page, just with(out) clothes. It would also make the Torrent easier, as it could allow someone to mass copy/paste, or simply delete the one they aren't interested in.
It would mean a little more work as you would need to put the text on each page to satisfy the desires, but it would attract a little more attention for the organized gallery.
Edit (11/09/19) : When I made my post initially, it was because the wording of Note 1 seems to imply that the possible Torrent would simply have one variation instead of both, which is why I mentioned sorting it to avoid having to omit the other variation. I also wanted to note how rough it was skipping every other page because of the current way the gallery is sorted. I would suggest naming the files with the variation letter first instead of the numbers to help the sorting go a little easier. Essentially, the file should read "eng_a027.jpg" (Clothed variation) and "eng_b027.jpg" (Nude variation) to make the sorting easier.
Also on Page 27, it's a little off. I feel it should say "Although I'm shocked, I am also pathetic for being aroused by the provocative flesh of my little sister's body"
I'm also not trying to sound like a jerk. Your work is good, as noted by DarkTemplarXIII. I do wish to see this gallery be finished.
Edit (11/14/19) : Wonderful work on the gallery.
For those curious: Page 1-49: Clothed variation. Page 50-97: Nude variation.