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Commissioned by: Raion-san

This guy reminds me of ProZD. lol.

Sorry SungWon!

Base +2, Grimz +7, @Spicy +5, Toffu +6, Shade080 +8, Bubblejum +6, seeinghighdog -7, DoctorCogs +6, Zelalinz +7, ShadowJ +6

Having a strong willed girl fall into pleasure near the end instead of few pages in makes it all the more arousing...
Been awhile since I've seen a good female agent piece...
Thanks for sharing

Base +31, ninjasrcool +6, RyuuHawke +6, @Spicy +5, Bubblejum +6, chanzy +9, seeinghighdog -7, Not Benedict +6, The14thNoah +11, Remeark +6, ShadowJ +6

Holy shit what a crap translation. I don't even need to look far because this person can't even read handwriting of "イクウウウ", SIMPLE HANDWRITING AT THAT. And the rest is just ugh.
I'm not even sure if this is a machine translation or a rewrite.

/s/e19e0648e6/1558220-1
/s/edf3eed441/1302970-498
the first panel of the first page is already a rewrite.
特殊捜査官間霧レナ
"Special investigator: Makiri Rena"
got "translated" into "Secret agent: Reina Masari"
You couldn't even get her name right and it even has furigana reading.

/s/25b88bfeb4/1302970-508
/s/d930f2f3e0/1558220-11
"TL NOTE "AH" " MY FOOT.

/s/900fe9242e/1558220-19
/s/3597b54730/1302970-516
Bottom left is definitely not "WOW!"

AND THE WORST PART IS SOMEONE PAID FOR THIS.

Last edited on 25 January 2020, 05:50 UTC.

Base +16, Infigar +6, jason12052011 +7, EvilSanta +6, Darksword696 +13, WarHero +10, ninjasrcool -6, DevOtk +6, MarvN +10, Ineedanadult +4, PinguPrin +7, sitkc +5, VodkaAllDay +8, and 28 more...

Overall:
- Leading is terrible on all pages. The lines are crammed together.
- Using whole line spaces in between two sentences is a waste of space and makes it look worse than it could be.
- Doesn't use italics or bold italics to indicate narration or thoughts. Only uses standard CC Wild Words for everything.
- No redraws despite it being commissioned. Japanese text is poorly whited out and symbols such as hearts are left misplaced and have no value with its current placement behind or around the English text.

Page 1:
"Her name is know by everyone in the black market."
- Incorrect grammar. You want to use the adjective, "known", not the verb, "know".

Page 2:
"He's been to jail befor; small crimes."
- You can use the semicolon for independent clauses that are closely related, but "small crimes" makes absolutely no sense.

Page 4:
"I finally caught you pesky agent."
- There should be a comma after "you".

Page 5:
"I'd never guess a few minutes ago."
- Even if this was close to being correct, you're missing "have". It should be "I wouldn't have [ever] guessed a few minutes ago." "Ever" is optional.

Page 8:
"You've breathed a lot of the gas by now..."
- Phrasal verb, "breathed", is missing preposition, "in".
"I don't think we are even yet though..."
- Sounds janky. Could sound better by using a contraction for "we're".

Page 9:
"As expected... your butt is well trained."
- There needs to be a hyphen between "well" and "trained".

Page 10:
"Oh, are you moans getting louder too?"
- Is her name "moans"? Is she more than one moan? Possessive pronoun is incorrect, should be "your", not subject pronoun, "you".
"My brain gets stimulated every time!"
- Present simple tense is badly used since this isn't something generally true for her when she's mating with anyone. This should be in present continuous tense: "My brain is getting stimulated every time..."
- Ellipses should be used instead of an exclamation mark, because the sentences are connected. (If you bothered to read the raw.)

Page 11:
"TL Note: "Ah"s"
- That bubble is definitely not filled with "ah"s.
"Where do you think you are you going?"
- Using "you are" without contracting it sounds janky here again. Sounds like MTL without proper contractions.
- Sounds like a combination of 2 questions that were mixed together: "Where do you think you're going?" and "Where are you going?" Either way, there is an extra "you" in there from merging them. :/

Page 13:
"Have you became my meat toilet?"
- Incorrect verb tense. Should be "become" because it is a question.

Page 18:
"I didn't know you could feel this good!"
- She shouldn't be using "you" because she's talking about herself. Very basic mistake.
"*sound effect*"
- Replacing the Japanese text with your own mistranslated joke is just poor practice. Especially when plenty of other readers would be able to read the "generic sex noises" that you don't bother to MTL and re-write.

tl;dr:
I think this scanlation was just plain terrible. Especially since it was a paid work and probably a mixture of MTL and re-writing.

Base +1, sitkc +5, MarvN +10, Pr1de +16, Shade080 -8, Bubblejum +6, DankMemes42069 +9, yetsun +14, hafini +13, EvilSanta +6, flash11 +13, VodkaAllDay +8, seeinghighdog +7, and 9 more...

This is horrendous...and this was supposed to be a commission work???

Base +4, sitkc +5, MarvN +10, SuperGenericAnon +7, DankMemes42069 +9, EvilSanta +6, seeinghighdog +7, IncognitoMaud +6, DukeP. +8, DoctorCogs +6, anon638382 +6, Remeark +6

Good job OP but you need someone whose editing can match your translation skill to address that pesky unbubbled text that you didn't even attempt to fix
imo xcaliber9999 is a good match, you two would do great together

Base +7, sitkc +5, Infigar +6, DankMemes42069 +9, seeinghighdog -7, DoctorCogs +6

bruv

looking at just the two mixed kana いくうううう's dankestdungeon linked above
how did you not only misread them, but also misread them differently? this does not fall under artistic liberty/'keeping it fresh'
it's emphatically "I'm cumming"
not sure how you got "generic sex 'ah' sounds" and "wow!" from that, what kind of sex are you up to

and what's with selectively """translating""" those bubbles? i.e. pg11 has the original text with a tl note, while pg19 has replaced them with a bunch of "AH" and "WOW!" in its two bubbles, respectively

please learn your kana, proofread, and maintain consistency

Base +11, sitkc +5, Infigar +6, Pr1de +16, DankMemes42069 +9, EvilSanta +6, MarvN +10, flash11 +13, VodkaAllDay +8, IncognitoMaud +6, seeinghighdog +7, Vanilla Cream +7, Remeark +6

Petition to rename Hentaku's stuff as re-writes. It's sad people like this call themselves translators and even charge people money. They should be ashamed.

Base +6, DankMemes42069 +9, HeavHo +12, MarvN +10, Devron00 +6, VodkaAllDay +8, Ineedanadult +4, seeinghighdog +7, IncognitoMaud +6, Remeark +6

Well damn, hope this gets a proper translation.

Base +8, seeinghighdog +7, chanzy +9, Remeark +6

What a tiny penis.

Base +6, seeinghighdog -7, DoctorCogs +6, Remeark -6

Huh, didn’t think jamming a glass cup into a girl’s mouth and calling it a gag would be hot but guess I was wrong... Guess you learn something new every day.

Base +7, -XeoN- -6, The14thNoah +11, Remeark +6