[Toketa Ice no Futa no Ura (Sakuraba Rokusuke)] Deeto-Chuu, Futari de Kossori ××× Suru Kai | Secretly Doing This And That With My Futanari Girlfriend During A Date [English] [Mr_Person] [Digital]
P002: Considering the reading order in Japanese comics is right to left, the line "Also a university student." should be used in the left paragraph. Has been getting uncontrolled erections whenever she remembers what Hakka and her have done. → Has been getting uncontrollable erections whenever she remembers what Hakka and she has done. P006: It's been a while since I've watched a romance movie. This should be fun! → It's been a while since I've seen a romantic movie, so I can't wait to see it! P008: Here ふむ means Hmm. P013: You just looked so cute trying to hold your voice back so desperately. → He's not stating a fact, he's answering the question "...You're playing with me, aren't you?" So it should be→ You just looked so cute holding back your voice, so... [I felt like playing with you... (this part is not necessary.)]
P014: ここ、こんなにして遊ぶ余裕があるんだ?→ This! After getting this(your dick) like this, you still have the time to play around with me? Do you really think we have the time to be playing around like this? ← This translation is incorrect because it doesn't convey the true meaning.
P025: My head's going to completely empty itself. → My head is going to go completely empty. P027: I just came from getting dominated by Ichigo...♥ → I just came, and if you keep fucking me [one-sidedly] like that...♥ P028: ...I was maybe wondering...→ You do not MAYBE wonder when you wonder, YOU JUST WONDER. When you're talking for yourself.
all of this is incredibly pedantic and almost entirely subjective, a good portion of being "this is what I'd do" instead of being "this is factually wrong".
p2. i can see what you mean, but im gonna choose to not do that. just reworded in a way you'd like to read it.
p6. just reworded in a way you'd like to read it.
p8. Hmm...
p13. just imagine one of the ellipsis i used somewhere else was here too. i don't think it fails to convey that, he's literally just saying the same thing, except he doesn't trail off in mine. if you're tryna argue that he's more authoritative in my TL instead of explanative then god damn, that's pedantic.
p14. disagree, i think it conveys the same meaning.
pg25. just reworded in a way you'd like to read it.
pg27. use one-sidedly in a sentence like that, dominated means literally the same thing bro, again, if you want it to read a specific way, i can give you the .psd files and you can publish your own.
pg28. she's fumbling her words and stumbling around in her speech, it's completely fine.
P006: Now then tell me what do you say: You say I wanna watch a romance movie or romantic movie. And "this should be fun!" is incorrect.
P0013: I'll pass.
P0014: "Do you really think we have the time to be playing around like this?" If you word it like this, what's the point of those panels where she's playing with his dick with her feet? She's saying: do you really think we should waste our time you just sucking my dick? We should get right into it and creampie your ass, which you like very much. But with your wording it conveys that we should get out of here.
P0025: My head's going to completely empty itself.→ Probably the head is going to pour out the brain... I guess? P0027: No, just improve yourself!!