No it's not.

Base +9, Mageta +10, YakiYama +4, oyole -5, sj490 +5, Ambi +7, MoonShine +6, Yasuchika +6, sick2000sg +10, grthwllms +9, ge hentai +21, deuce22 +9, Airyn +6, and 9 more...

Well....maybe not This boy.lol But I'm sure there would be plenty of volunteers for the position were it to open up.;-)

Base +13, Mageta -10, deuce22 -9, oyole +5, ge hentai -21, fletchlives -8, yaoiboi +1, observer1980 +21, dj756 -5

Horrible rewrite as usual. Doujin is fine.

Base +5, Slartibartfast +7, ezrewriter -27, marconii2002 +9, sj490 +5, Lostox -8, Ambi +7, BluMeino +10, Yasuchika -6, zufield +7, sick2000sg +10, Capi duffman +6, Mageta +10, and 22 more...

If you didn't know any better, you could almost pass this off as the real thing.

Base +11, ge hentai +21, deuce22 -9, fletchlives -8, Rouga_Zanma -9, homogenized -10, Chained -6, yaoiboi +1, Mageta -16, Anony12788 +13, enyoeos -10, bucket90 -6, observer1980 +21, and 2 more...

Downvoting non-nasty criticism like Tawp's is pretty childish, don't you think, Ez?

The point still isn't whether the writing is good (it's not), but whether the overall presentation of the text adds to or detracts from the doujin as a whole.

As it stands, the text is so riddled with mistakes and substandard writing that it's too distracting to fap to. There are basic spelling, grammar, and usage mistakes that an average sixth-grader wouldn't make. The punctuation is absolutely abysmal; use commas, and punctuate at the end of _every_ sentence.

Though, compared with earlier, you've improved a little - the flow of the speech is slightly better, but a slight improvement to a complete disaster only makes it a large heap of crap instead. Most of the places where there's an exclamation mark, there's only one, which is nice. The writing is still very uncreative, but not unbearably bad. It's still cliche and cheesy.

As for presentation, again. Doing all the work is no excuse to skimp - this is not a good edit. The text needs to be centered better within each bubble. Good, the text is antialiased and of a reasonable font now, but bits of it still run over out of cleaned whitespace. It seems the raws were good, so this doesn't apply to this piece, but when you clean, if the background is off-white, clean using that color if you won't whiten the entire thing - it looks much, much better. If it's not a uniform color (it almost never is), use a clone/pattern brush.

The writing isn't a big issue. Hentai scripts aren't exactly known for good writing anyways (except for Higashiyama Shou), so a good presentation and good text editing would almost completely make up for it. We do very much appreciate your H@H and server contributions, and I hope that in the future you might actually contribute with uploads. As it is, they quite simply suck.

@Anime Janai:
Entertaining, yes, if only because it was so bad. Acceptable =/= desired. If "fans of censorship" were against this upload existing, they'd be submitting expunges, not downvotes. The vote system is there to tell people what everyone thinks of the quality - badly rated uploads aren't hidden or anything from searches, at least not by default - and most people think this is crap.

why the hell did i spend five minutes on this

Base +7, deuce22 -9, fletchlives +8, sgc_geh +1, Rouga_Zanma +9, homogenized +10, Chained +6, yaoiboi -1, Eternal1983 +10, Mageta +16, Hitsuyou-H +27, enyoeos +10, bucket90 +6, and 2 more...

So does anyone know where I can get the original?

Base +7, fletchlives +8, homogenized +10, yaoiboi -1, Mageta +16, bucket90 +6, observer1980 +21, henshin +9, Hellwalker1221 -6

wow this is kinda offensive

Base +7, yaoiboi -1, Mageta +16, Kavr +5, observer1980 +21, Hellwalker1221 -6

Okay on page 19 I think this guy is reading his teachers mind.

Base +1, observer1980 +21, Hellwalker1221 +6

no its not. it pretty clichè and boring. nothing so funny or brand new .

Base +4, Hitsuyou-H +27, bucket90 +6, observer1980 +21, Hellwalker1221 -6